Big Blogger - a Big Brother Blog

Chanelle snubbed by Victoria Beckham, turns into scary stalker

She's not even in the house any more, but Chanelle Hayes continues to wind me up. Not content with iimitating Victoria Beckham in this country, Chanelle is currently stalking her idol all over L.A. - and when I say "stalking", I'm really not joking - I'm surprised the Beckhams haven't taken out an injunction against her.

Chanelle travelled to L.A. last week. Since her arrival, she's been mostly hanging around Rodeo Drive dressed up as Posh, hoping that Victoria will rock up and become her new BFF. She also attended an LA Galaxy game, where, despite being refused entry to the VIP enclosure ( I wonder why?) Chanelle still managed to steal some of the limelight from Victoria - now we know why Posh was so stony-faced when David scored that goal last week. Chanelle then made a point of telling everyone who would listen how "gorgeous" David is, and how she has "fallen for him". Yeah. What a great way to make friends with Victoria Beckham - follow her around dressed up as her, then go on about how much you fancy her husband. That'll totally work, Chanelle!

Of course, it hasn't worked. According to sources from the Beckham camp, Victoria is "flattered that Chanelle is a fan, but is in no hurry to meet her". Again: I wonder why on earth not?

Chanelle still dressing like Posh, may be going back into the Big Brother house

Well, so much for the whole "I'm going to stop copying Victoria Beckham and be my own person" rubbish Chanelle was spouting to every newspaper in the land when she exited the Big Brother house. On the left of this picture, you see Chanelle. On the right? Victoria Beckham. Notice any similarities here? Uh-huh, me too. Good luck with the "being my own person" thing Chanelle - and let's just see how many really famous celebrity lookalikes we can name...

Meanwhile, rumours abound that Chanelle may be going back into the house. These rumours make me want to eat my own head so I don't have to see it happen. I mean, WHY? Why should someone who chose to quit, having subjected us to days on end of indecisive drama-queening, be given the opportunity to return? Someone explain this to me, please - and with none of the "Chanelle was interesting and Big Brother is boring without her", please. Yes, it is boring - but the producers could have stopped that if they'd just put slightly more thought into this year's show and refused to allow the contestants to treat the house like some kind of hotel, which they can pop out of at will to do a quick round of red-top interviews and hit up some "celebrity hangouts" before hopping back in. Gah. Can you tell this has annoyed me?

So, what do you think? Should Chanelle go back into the house? And who looks better - her or Posh?

Chanelle infiltrates Charley's eviction week

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm actually starting  to feel sorry for Charley. Here she is, having her long-awaited eviction week, and who's right there beside her every step of the way? Chanelle. Her arch enemy. When Charley appeared on Big Brother's Big Mouth last night, Chanelle was right there beside her on the sofa. Just below Charley's eviction diary on the Channel 4 site, what do we find? Chanelle's eviction diary.

Riddle me this, though: How can Chanelle possibly have an "eviction diary" when Chanelle wasn't evicted? She quit. Surely that should mean forfeiting the right to all of the "fun" things that come with being evicted? Apparently not. In part one of her diary, Chanelle talks about getting a free haircut from David Beckham's hairdresser, and being given free clothes. She is having the time of her life, and by treating Chanelle like an evictee rather than as someone who quit the show of her own free will, Big Brother is just encouraging this culture of "going on Big Brother just to get an agent and pose in some lads mags" we've been seeing this year. And I, for one, am sick of it.

Shabnam did it. Charley did it. And now it seems that Chanelle is doing it, too - going onto the show with the intention of staying just long enough to get noticed, so that when they walk/are evicted there'll be a whole bunch of salivating agents waiting to meet them. No one is playing the game any more - in fact, they don't even seem to recognise that it is a game. None of the contestants seem to care about winning: all they're interested in is which magazines they'll pose for when they get out, and starting a career as a TV presenter. Fair enough, you might say, but it makes for a pretty boring show when the house is filled with people who don't actually care about being evicted, and who put us through day after day of "should I stay or should I go now" shenanigans.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Big Brother needs to get tougher on quitters. Show them the door as soon as they ask to leave (to discourage the "I'm just asking to leave because I want attention" thing), don't give them the whole eviction week/ BBLB/ Big Mouth experience, and rather than filling two entire shows with someone deciding to leave and then changing their mind at the last minute, give us something interesting to watch instead.

Chanelle leaves Big Brother - at last

Looks like someone up there was listening to my last "get Chanelle out" plea, because this afternoon, after yet another row with Ziggy, Chanelle has finally left the Big Brother house. I think it's for the best. I don't think any of us could have put up with any more screaming, and maybe now Chanelle can get the help she so obviously needs. And Ziggy, of course, can crack onto one of the other girls in the house.

Chanelle: Violins are her worst fear....

You know what I'd really like to see happen on Big Brother? I'd like to see BB call the contestants' bluff when they start the whole "That's it, I'm leaving! No, I really am!" thing that they've all been doing this series.

Take Chanelle, for instance. (No, really, take her. I don't think I can stand ONE MORE clip of her screaming in the diary room). Now, either Chanelle is channeling Nicki Grahame from last year's show (and if she is, she's even crazier than I thought she was) or she's really quite a disturbed young woman. At this point, I have to say I don't really care which it is - I just want the screaming to stop. And the whining. And the attention seeking. And the swearing. And the bitchiness. And the ... oh, you get the picture.

Big Brother 8, Day 40 - Suspicious minds

Carole thinks she's already got Fake Housemate Pauline rumbled. Displaying more spooky insight than Pauline herself (who's supposed to have special psychic powers, remember. A bit like the twins.) Carole explains to Tracey about how Pauline could easily be an actress. "Laura could just have been sitting in some studio - just like Pauline" says Carole. Spot on, Carole, amazing! Then again, Carole has been suspicious of Pauline since before she arrived, so maybe Carole's just the suspicious kind. So, not so amazing after all, then.

So far, Thaila seems to be making rather heavy work of her role as "Pauline". The accent keeps slipping, she knows nothing about Big Brother Australia (which is a shame, because Ryan has been watching it avidly), and people keep asking her questions which she has no idea how to answer. Of course, Big Brother isn't helping much by requiring her to pretend to have psychic powers, correctly guessing that Charley is a little on the argumentative side, from just one glance at her half-eaten hamburger. Even Charley seems to have seen through that one, and given that Charley doesn't normally see further than the nearest mirror, that's saying a lot.

Chiggy break up. Again.

Well, I betchyas never saw that one coming, did you? Or, OK, maybe you did. After all, Chiggy have been on the rocks for quite some time now, and really, the strangest thing about it is that they didn't break up sooner. Oh no, wait - they did, didn't they? Then they got back together. Please, oh reality TV Gods, don't let Chanelle and Ziggy get back togther a second time. I don't think I can stand the sheer angst of it all.

Ziggy maintains that the break-up had nothing whatsoever to do with the arrival of Fake Housemate Pauline. Of course not. So why did it happen? Well, according to Ziggy, "It got all that bit too serious. We were arguing, not like a married couple, but like a couple who didn't appreciate each other. The novelty wears off when you see each other every day. A lot of other people were seeing it."

Yeah, you're telling us, Zigster...

Big Brother 8, Day 36: In which Charley walks around naked, as predicted

Note to Charley: when I commented a few days ago that you "may as well just walk around naked and get it over with" I was being facetious. But you doggone gone and done it, didn't you? And how.

I'm starting to warm to Charley again. I can't help it. When Chiggy are all cosied-up in the caravan, taking a rare break from fighting, what better way to shake things up a bit than by stripping naked, painting your body (or getting Carole to do it) and then parading into their little love nest? And what better person to carry out this plan of action than Charley?

Big Brother 8, Day 34: On the rocks

The crags are starting to show in Chiggy's sorry excuse for a relationship. With Chanelle's behaviour growing ever more erratic, Ziggy looks more and more like a man on the edge. This week, he stands up to Chanelle by refusing to come and move the bed as soon as she snaps her fingers. Chanelle throws one of her predictable hissy fits, and if she was up against anyone other than Laura, would surely just have got herself evicted.

Later, Ziggy goes to the diary room with Liam and Brian and procures some booze, which the men of the house drink all by themselves, refusing to give the girls a drop. Can't really fault them there, can you? We all know that alcohol makes Nicky even moodier, Chanelle even needier, and Charley even more argumentative, and who wants to deal with that? Not Ziggy, anyway - and I'm starting to wonder how much longer he'll want to deal with Chanelle at all.

Week 5 Nominations: Chanelle and Laura go head to head

The latest round of nominations have just been announced, and it's either Chanelle or Laura to go on Friday. This should be an interesting eviction: I don't think either of the two have done much to endear themselves to the viewing public, but I suspect Laura might just have the edge in this one.

It's a bit if a disappointing result, this one, and I'd have liked to see both Chanelle and Laura stay in for a little longer - not becuase I like them, but because they're two of the biggest characters in the house. So, who goes?

Big Brother 8, Day 33: Seven deadly sins

You know, it occurs to me that Charley could really have been all of the seven deadly sins, couldn't she? Other than gluttony, obviously. Because Charley never eats, being a size zero and the skinniest one in the house, see? She should definitely have been pride, but, as it is, that honour falls to Amanda, who is forced to dress up as a hotdog. Luckily, Amanda makes a nice hotdog, and accepts her "penance" with her usual giggly good grace. Charley? Not so much, really. Her penance involves not shouting or swearing, and given that Charley only has two speeds - "Shout" and "Swear" - that was never really going to happen, was it?

Photos of Chanelle before Big Brother

Available for Panto have discovered these pictures of Chanelle in the days before Big Brother. They are not work safe, and, actually, will probably make your eyes bleed, but just in case you want to see them, there are a couple behind the jump, and even more here.

Her parents must continue to be so, so proud...

In other "Big Brother babes in bikinis" related news, Emily has also posed for Nuts mag.

Big Brother 8, Day 26: Nicky and Liam, up a tree...

Well, I was going to write the usual lengthy rundown of last night's Big Brother, but given that it was mostly a huge, Nicky-Fishing-For-Compliments Fest, I'm going to keep this one short...

Nicky fancies Liam. Has everyone noticed that Nicky fancies Liam? You must have done, because she's been talking about it almost without pause, ever since he won that £100,000. Unfortunately for Nicky, Liam doesn't fancy her much, and it doesn't matter how much she climbs on his back or tries to draw attention to her boobs - he just. doesn't. fancy. her. Poor Nicky. I mean, I would feel sorry for her, but she's kind of exhausted my supply of patience now with her constant whining, and now I just want her to shut up. "Do you think I'm pretty? Do you think I'm fat? Do you think Liam fancies me?" Nicky asks, ad infinitum. Or she may as well do, anyway: she's not using those exact words, but we all know that "I just don't think of myself as a thin girl" and "I really can't imagine anyone fancying me" are just girl-code for "do you like me? Please tell me you like me." GOD.

Chanelle & Ziggy: On and off and on again

Chanelle and Ziggy think the whole world is probably wondering about their romance. "The headlines will be, like, 'Chanelle and Ziggy - is it real?'" says Chanelle, who would give anything for this to be the case, and who luckily doesn't know that what the headlines have actually been asking is "Did they have sex?" Although, actually, come to think of it, maybe Chanelle wouldn't mind. Any publicity is good publicity for the wannabe WAG, right?

If Chiggy really want to get themselves some headlines, though, they're going to have to do better than they have been. For two people supposedly in love, you see, Chanelle and Ziggy are making pretty heavy weather of the relationship. Romeo and Juliet themselves weren't even half as tortured as our Chiggy, who have now had more ups and downs than Britney Spears' hotpants. This week, Ziggy decided to break it off with Chanelle, for reasons that were never quite explained. Then they decided to get back together, with Chanelle pointing out, quite reasonably, that they really should be having more fun than this. Instead of having fun, though, Chiggy have mostly been lurking around looking angst-ridden, with the spectre of Billi lurking at all times in the background, ready to swoop in with his meticuously straightened hair and girlie name, and carry Chanelle off into the sunset. That's if he can tear himself away from his own relfection for long enough to pick her up.

So, especially for Chanelle and Ziggy, Big-Blogger would like to ask: is it for real? What to do you think?

Latest Big Brother Rumour: Did Chanelle and Ziggy have sex? The Star says they did....

Big Brother rumour time again, folks... This morning The Star is claiming that Ziggy and Chanelle have had sex - but that Channel 4 have decided not to screen the scenes as they are "too steamy".

I'm not sure which part of this is least believable: the idea that Chanelle and Ziggy have had sex in the house, or the idea that Channel 4 would pass up the opportunity to milk it for all it was worth if it was true. However, according to The Star, who have finally been able to use that "Jiggy Ziggy" headline they've been holding onto for weeks now:

"Sizzling footage captured by the show’s infra-red cameras revealed the sexy blonde whipping off her top as the pair got down and dirty...

The scenes were so hot that Channel 4 decided not to show them in last night’s highlights – but our shots from the E4 live coverage reveal the saucy truth.

The romp almost sparked an internet meltdown as viewers who caught the live action posted messages on fan sites."

Full story here.

Big Brother 8, Day 19: Phat Friends

Don’t be fooled by all the clothes and shoes that she’s got, folks – she’s just, she’s just Charley from the Block. And not just any old block, the GHETTO block. Wow. Charley’s block is filled with celebrities and glamour. She’s not just name-dropping to impress us – she’s doing it because it’s all she knows. Footballers. Z-listers. That blonde one from Hollyoaks – our Charley knows them all, and she would like it if we could all please love her for it.

Unfortunately for poor Charley, though, no one really cares about her name-dropping today, because today is the day that the Big Brother house sees its first ever gay kiss. Wow! Were you shocked? Have you written to Ofcom yet to express your dismay? Won't someone please think of the children?

Big Brother 8 Day 15 - Not being funny

Charley's not being funny, right, but she totally hates Ziggy and Chanelle. She shouldn't worry, though: the feeling's mutual, and, as it happens, Ziggy and Chanelle aren't being funny either. Neither is Laura. Or Nicky. In fact, the Big Brother house is currently as humourless as only a house filled with a bunch of bitchy women can be. And no, it's not funny.

It's not all that surprising, either, is it? As soon as Big Brother chose to put one heterosexual male (Ziggy) into a houseful of women, it was clear that whichever woman Ziggy chose to "fancy" would become the subject of endless bitching and backstabbing by the other girls. And so it has come to pass, and not even the story of Chanelle's tragic childhood can save her from the wrath of Charley now.

Chanelle's boyfriend dumps her after seeing her snog Ziggy

So, Chanelle has a boyfriend - who knew? Certainly not Ziggy, anyway. There he was, cheerfully snuggling, spooing and snogging away with her, and all the time one Ian Spencer Lettice has been planning to blow his head off with a shotgun. Well, not quite. Ian is Chanelle's boyfriend, you see - or rather, Ian was Chanelle's boyfriend. No more, though. Having witnessed the goings-on in the house for himself, Ian says Chanelle has just become single.

"I am gutted - absolutely mortified and devastated," he told The People. "My girlfriend has just cheated on me on national TV and I've been ridiculed before the whole world.  I don't think I could control myself, so I never want to see Chanelle again. I love her but I'm not going to speak to her again. That's it."

 

Big Brother "babes" have a threesome

Well, the Big Brother producers must surely be rubbing their hands together with glee this morning, after Charley, Chanelle and Shabnam appeared to indulge in a bit of a threesome last night. There was apparently "snogging" and "groping" a plenty as the three girls, frustrated after almost two weeks with only Ziggy for company (although, to be fair, Chanelle hasn't been exactly going without, has she?) turned to each other for, er, comfort.

"Thank goodness that was in the dark! Can you imagine what the headlines would have been tomorrow?" gasped the girls, disingenuously  afterwards.  Oh, I think you were all well aware of what the headlines would be girls - what better excuse do you need to start snogging each other?

Big Brother 8, day 8: Racism & rudeness

It's another Big Brother "race row", folks! Yes, Emily has used the "N" word in front of Charley and Nicky, and she is never going to live it down. Not if Charley has anything to do with it, anyway.

Charley, you see, has just seen her big chance a-comin'. While it's pretty clear that Emily's use of the word in question was stupid rather than malicious, Charley thinks she spies another Celebrity Big Brother style "racism" scandal in the offing, as she's determined to cast herself firmly in the central role. Charley, it is clear, sees herself as the Shilpa Shetty  figure in all of this: the problem is, of course, that Charley is no Shilpa Shetty, and instead of behaving with a bit of dignity, Charley settles in for a protracted spot of stirring.

Big Brother 8, Day 5: Sniffing the mattress

Ziggy is having dinner with each of the female housemates in turn. This is a good task for Ziggy, giving him the opportunity to ingratiate himself to each and every one of them, in the way that only Ziggy knows how. When we said he was a ladies man, you see, we really weren't joking... Ziggy is masterful in his manipulation of each woman. Jokey with Tracey, sesitive towards Lesley, a co-conspirator with Emily, honest with Nicky, and flirty with Chanelle, Ziggy is all things to all people. He wears a coat of many colours. He will probably appear as 'Joseph' in the West End once his stint on Big Brother is over.

Only we, the viewers, know the truth about Ziggy. We know he cheated on Suzanne Shaw (who really, really doesn't have much luck with men, does she?) with the Oil of Olay model. We know, Ziggy. But still, it's kinda hard to hate Ziggy. More than anyone else in the Big Brother house, Ziggy is playing the game. He is making everyone like him. He may even be succeeding.    

Big Brother 8, Day 4: Mine enemy's enemy

The two alpha males of the Big Brother house (according to the psychiatrist show, anyway), Charley and Emily, are indulging in a little light self-aggrandisement. Every time Charley goes out - which is A LOT, by the way - people will copy her exact outfit, down to the last detail, she tells us. This is because Charley is so beautiful and fantastic that everyone who sees her wants to be just like her. I, for instance, am wearing high-waisted shorts and Ugg boots as I write this. Are you?

Emily, meanwhile, was responsible for starting the skinny jeans trend. We may all have been wearing skinny years for two years, but Emily has been wearing them for three, and that's because she's so much better than everyone else. We wear our skinny jeans, you see, in a bid to be JUST LIKE EMILY - or rather, we don't. You see, people may copy Charley's outfits, but they just don't dare to copy Emily's. Emily is far too cool to be copied, and she knows it.

And so the boasting continues, with each of the Alphas doing her damnedest to out-do the other. Suddenly, though, there is a disturbance in the force...

Contestant # 6: Chanelle

Chanelle's "thing" is being a Victoria Beckham clone. Or so she thinks. She actually doesn't look much like VB, although she's doing her level best, bless her. I mean, she even has Beckham-brand towels, for God's sake.

Chanelle's ambition is to either be "rich and famous" or "a speech therapist". It actually doesn't matter what she says, though, because I just can't get past the whole Victoria Beckham obsession.

SamAmanda are just amazed by the fact that Chanelle is almost the same age as them. How are we going to get through this?